Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Halloween Tales From A Demon Cat, Part 4

©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved

"So, isn't it about time you asked me for another story?"

Once again, the shrill screechy voice of Gabriela pierced my calm.  

I answered her question with one of my own, "Why? Getting anxious to tell some more lies?" 

"I'd watch it if I were you.  You're treading on dangerous ground"  she hissed back.

"You know the last one you told was pretty far fetched" I snapped.

"I only tell the truth.  If you can't take it, you shouldn't write it"  Gabriela responded none so nicely. 

Arching her back and giving me a glaring stare warned me against taking this conversation any further.  I seemed to be touching a tender spot in her psyche.  Perhaps she had been telling the truth in the previous tales.  It would be best not to question until I'd learned more.

"So, I'm ready to type.  Are you ready to start?"

She glared back up at me with disdain.  I could see her frustration with being questioned as her ears quivered and tail flipped back and forth with added energy.   It was then she began.

Don't Stop.... Ever

It was in the late 90's.  My fourth owner, David H, was a shark nut!  He had shark posters all over his walls, shark curios throughout the apartment, and shark teeth and jaws setting on every end table.  When cable had "Shark Week" broadcasts, he took vacations from his job at a local department store so as not to miss a minute of the available viewing.  He dreamed for the opportunity to have one mounted on his wall.
Courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com 

Obsessed with sharks and lousy with remembering to feed and water me.  Davie only took me in as a favor to his brother, who had been stuck with a litter of three calico kittens and one black kitten.  The calicoes had easily found homes.  For some reason, perhaps my ability to slice petting fingers with my razor sharp claws, I had remained.  Only during a visit from Davie had I held back the claws as talk of being taken to the animal shelter had entered the picture.

Davie considered himself intelligent, but had no common sense.  In addition, he was one of those guys that wasn't attractive to look at (unless you considered 350 lbs. on a 5'8" frame attractive), couldn't communicate with girls, and had a voice that would make Dolly Parton's sound masculine.  Deep down, he knew he was a loser.  What other conclusion could he draw as he was teased by all he met and by those with whom he worked. 

However, put him on a computer and he became a bully.  You know the type: insulting others without mercy, falsely boasting of their intelligence and talents, and completely living a false facade behind anonymity. The type you find joining various social networks and spew trash to those willing to wilt and believe. 

Can you tell I didn't think much of this owner?  He was a just waiting to be taken down. 

Davie boy had another bad habit.  While under yet another screen name and browser, he would visit perverse  websites and fantasize over illegal photos and videos of youngsters.  There were times he'd even bring an unsuspecting youngster to the house and do unspeakable things to them.  Then, he'd threaten them with, "I'm a shark!  I have to move to breath!  I'm always around!  Don't you dare tell anyone what happened as I'm always moving somewhere close and will make you pay!"
Courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com

Yeah, I know, I couldn't get a normal owner if I begged for one.

One night, while web surfing, an ad popped up on his screen for a fishing boat cruise. It was cheap and supplied both the excitement of shark fishing.  

I could see his excitement as he examined his financial resources.  His credit card was about full, but he could just make it when he added in the little money he'd saved up.  He called the number, set the date, maxed out his credit card for the deposit, and sat back from the keyboard with a smile on his face.

I'd never seen fat man more excited.  He actually fed and watered me that night.

The day to leave came quickly.  He had packed for weeks and bragged to everyone on the web about his upcoming trip.  

What an overweight ass!

He was going to leave without me on the day of departure.  I slipped out a window screen (I'd cut with my claws) hopped into his car and hid under the five thousand empty McDonald's bags in the back floorboard.  He got in the car, started it up, and put in gear our trip to the coast.

I was miserable.  There were actually gnats in most of the empty food containers that wouldn't leave me alone.  I ignored them to a point, but when they flew in my ears or nostrils, I got edgy.  
©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved

He drove way too long without stopping.  My bladder was badly in need of relief.  Finally, not thinking any smell could permeate the stench of rotting fast food remnants, I let loose onto an empty fries carton.  

Wrong move!  Fat man turned around as his nostrils flared sniffing the air.  That's when he saw me and started screaming, "What the hell are you doing here!"

You'd think he'd have been happy I'd come along. Obviously, he wasn't.

It was then I heard this sickening thud.  What looked like a small body floating in the air passed by the side window.  I was thrown against the back of the front seat as fat man hit the brakes and skidded dangerously to a stop and fell into a Big Mac box in the recoil.  

He jumped out of the car and slowly walked the direction we had come from.  I jumped up in the rear deck and saw this lady on the side of the road clutching a child.  Davie boy seemed to be saying something, but all I could make out from inside the car was her sobbing and screaming.
Courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com

He seemed to be getting more and more nervous.  The lady gently lay the child on the side of the road, glared at fat man while saying something, but I couldn't make it out.  

He kept saying something she didn't like and I could tell she was getting more and more irate.  Finally, she jumped at him and grabbed his hair.  She started saying something and circling her hand around his head.  Almost seemed like she was in a trance.  

This was more than Davie boy could handle.  He turned and quickly waddled back to our car. Without wasting a second, he punched the accelerator and we sped away! 

I looked back and could just make out the lady.  She seemed to be smiling through her tears as she held a mass of Davie boy's hair in her fingers.

"Damn woman... oh, I'm scared of curses... rotten kid in the road... told her it was her fault, not watchin' her kid... told her I was just going shark fishing... what was her kid doing in the highway anyway... oh, God, what if she got my license number... I don't care... put a curse on me, yeah right... move down highway / move like sharks... damn it, it was an accident... crazy lady pulled out my hair... move like sharks...  I'm going fishing..."

Fat man rambled on like that for an hour.  Then complete silence.

We reached the coast that evening.  Davie boy seemed to be having a hard time breathing.  He got up, went inside the Motor Inn lobby, and returned.  He drove down to a far building, Pulled out his backpack, and closed the door.

"Hey, I've been in this car all day!  I need a drink and something to eat!"

Courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com

After an hour or so, he finally returned.  He drove to McDonald's, got enough food for three people, and returned to the Inn.  I meowed loudly as he was getting out.  He held open the door just long enough for me to jump out.  I ran to beat him into the room.  

I rushed to the bathroom, found the commode, and had a fresh drink before he could get there.  Hey, a girl's got to drink what she can.

Thirst satisfied, I returned to see him stuffing his face.  He was the only person I knew that could devour a Quarter Pounder in three bites.  I meowed a couple of times to get his attention.  Regretfully, he pulled off a small piece of burger and tossed it on the floor.  

Selfish bastard!

It was then he started gasping for breath.  I figured fat man was finally having a heart attack.  But, when he stood up and started to pace around the room, his breathing returned.  

Sitting back down by his food, it was only seconds before he started gasping again.  Again, when he stood up and started walking, his breath returned.  

This was repeated over and over, until he didn't sit back down.  Pacing, he started talking to himself.

"Okay, when I walk I can breath... when I stop, I can't breath... doesn't make sense... walking I can breath... sitting I can't... like Great White Sharks... they have obligate ram ventilators... have to keep moving to take in water for oxygen through the open gills... stop moving and they die... lady on the side of the road... what did she say... move like sharks... move like sharks... curse... move like sharks..."
Courtesy of Stockfreeimages.com

And again, on and on he went.  But, as crazy as it sounded, each time he'd stop moving, he couldn't breath!  If this kept up, I wasn't going to get any sleep at all.

An hour later, he was panting and his face a wretched red color.  His body wasn't in shape to take the constant back and forth walking.  He opened the door and walked down the street.

I never saw him again.

Looking around the room, I calculated my next move.  I had fresh water, part of a leftover hamburger, and a clean bed to sleep in.  

That was a good night!

Final Words

"So, what happened?"   I had to know.

Gabriela smirked and said, "Cops caught up with him walkin' down the highway.  Tazered him when he wouldn't stop as ordered.  He suffocated before he ever got to jail.  I heard about it from the cleaning maid the next day."

"Was he cursed?" I inquired.

"Well, the pervert had no conscience.  So, yeah, he was cursed.  The lady was driving a truck that had "Monica LeVeau... Great Great Granddaughter of Marie... Voodoo Extraordinaire”  written on the side of the trailer it was towing.  I‘d say killing her kid might have given her a reason” she hissed.

“So, all of your owners have died a violent death” I stated with relief.

Gabriela smirked and asked, “Do you consider suffocating violent?” .

Then, somewhat contented with her tormenting of my curiosity, she lay down for a nap.  

“Gabriela, have any of your owners ever lived a normal life?”

"Maybe I'll tell you next time.  Storytelling always wears me out."  She replied.

Rolling over, she stretched a little and settled into a deep sleep.  

When will I ever get the answer?

©Copyright RCRUMPLE2012. All Rights Reserved


  1. Oh Richard, I too wonder if Gabriela will ever tell you if she had a normal owner. Guess I will have to wait just like you until the next installment!! Great job as usual :)

    1. Janine - So good to see you! I'm wondering what she'll come up with next. One never knows. lol Many Thanks!

  2. I think yer toast, RC. Better hand her off before her curse becomes your good night. :)

    1. Terrye - Didn't think you were around today! I think you're right, but she's becoming so loving recently. She only chews on my legs two or three times a day instead of 7-8. Many Thanks!

  3. Gabby is a diabolical one, Rich. Careful with her now! (Though I am very sure you are far more normal than her other owners.) Till the next cat tail or tale!

    1. BTW, must tell you...a fantastic blog!!

    2. Michelle - Thanks for stopping in! One never know what Gabriela is up to next. We both will have to wait to see! Btw, I appreciate the compliment! Please feel free to check out my comedy blog at http://richrumple.blogspot.com Many Thanks!

  4. Now I need to go back and read the prior installments--I always get into the game late--

    1. Audrey - So good to see you! Part III is in this blog, and Parts I & II are on Hubpages. They moderated my Part II mercilessly and took away the advertising, so I moved the series here. I'm really glad you like it! Many Thanks!

  5. Whoa. That's one crazy cat. Sounds to me like she's just unlucky in her "choice" of owners. LOL.

    1. Cyndi - She tells me after the first owner, she was pretty much stuck with who she ended up with. The only thing that worries me is that she doesn't have many to go until she gets to me. I don't know if I want to hear that one or not. : ) Thanks for commenting!

  6. Ahh nice one! I'm a fan of this series now LOL ^_^ I love your stories! ^_^

    1. Rosyel - You humble me with your following of these tales. Gabriela is eating up all the attention! lol Many Thanks!